I know this to be true...

  I have a million ideas for this blog that run through my head on a daily basis, but it is harder than anything to sit down at the computer and actually write them!  As I'm writing this my sweet baby boy is pulling all of the books off of the book shelf.  *Sigh*  But actually this is perfect because it goes along with what I'm writing about today.  And that is things I have come to terms with having 4 boys (5 including my husband) in the house.  If you do not have children or have only girls, I'd highly discourage you from reading this, because it may contain some highly disturbing material.  So here they are, in no particular order of importance or nastiness.
1.)  My house is perpetually disastrous, aka messy.  Messy isn't even the right word for it, because I can deal with messy.  Unhygienic would be the word-or is that actually a word?!  I am in constant fear of the disease control coming in and declaring my house condemned.  Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating a little, but seriously.  Going into the bathrooms is like a Where's Waldo game.  Where can we find urine in here?  On the wall?  Check.  On the floor?  Check.  On the trash can?  Check.  In the toilet where it actually belongs?  Nah...
2.)  Everyone in this household will grow up with some form of hearing loss.  Between the wrestling, fighting, Wii playing, tattling, laughing, etc.  There is enough noise in my house to rival a rock concert.  Poor Lincoln (the baby) probably secretly hopes he was switched at birth.  He could possibly sleep through an Apocalypse due to the noise level he is accustomed to.
3.)  Toys are completely unnecessary, except maybe to add to the mess.  Things in the household that are apparently more fun are the trash can, toilets, household cleaning supplies, and even better, the toilet brushes used to clean the bathrooms referenced to in example one.  The more diseases or germs that you can get, the better it is.
4.)  The master bedroom will never be the love nest that gurus like Oprah, Super Nanny, and anyone else refer to.  I have never been able to rise above the crack house, mattress in the corner look.  Every time we move I have high hopes of accomplishing the serene haven that I can run to when things get crazy.  But it never happens.  All money used to possibly furnish such a haven is spent on making sure our little angels have a suitable room to trash on a daily basis.  Why?????  Our bedroom is the catch all.  Dirty and clean laundry, school papers, food, and who knows what else can be found in our bedroom.  Not to mention usually 2 of our four children will wind up in our bed during the night.  What love nest?  Which makes me wonder, how did we get 4 children in the first place?!!  But that is a completely different topic altogether...
5.)  There are a lot of wieners in my house.  And I am not talking about Oscar Mayer kind, either.  And my boys are obsessed with theirs.  So I know that that's not the PC term for them, but I find it much better sounding than the correct terminology for them.  As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, I think that that might be their favorite toy.  So disturbing.  And I have to say things to them that I never thought I would, like "get your wiener off the table" or "your brother" or other things that are completely mortifying.  And no, I'm not running a nudist colony.  They just happen to like running around naked.
6.)  Boys have an ENORMOUS appetite, and consequently we never have any food in the house.  I go to the store almost daily and spend a ton, and it is never enough.  I have been tempted to take the boys to the doctor to be tested if they have hollow legs or tape worms.  Whatever it is, I wish I had it so that I could be as skinny as them.  But I'm dreading when they are teenagers, and we have to sell our home to be able to feed them.
7.)  Boys are dirty and smelly.  5 of them in one house is exceedingly dirty and smelly.  Enough said.  See above references.
8.)  Everything in my house belongs to my kids.  I might think that it belongs to me, but once my kids get their hands on it it becomes theirs.  Like the TV, laptop, cell phone, or anything else that might be for my entertainment.  And the nicer it is, the quicker it gets broken.
9.)  I am the only person in the household capable of putting my dirty clothes in the hamper.  It must be a special gift that God only bestowed upon women, because I could literally put the hamper right next to their bed and the clothes would still end up on the floor.  No exception to this rule-not even my husband.  Why do they think it is there?  For decor???
10.)  Although my boys drive me nuts on a daily basis, they make me laugh and I wouldn't trade them for the world.  I am honored to be the mom to 4 of the most handsome, talented boys that I know.  I love them so much.  Urine, mess, and all ;).
Until next time...